finally get my report book, waited for one whole week to get it. and there isnt much difference. my L1R4 is one point lesser but my L1R5 remains the same.

this is my mid-year results
english, C6.
malay, B3.
math, D7.
science, C6.
combined humanities, E8.
P.O.A, A1.
F&N, C5.
L1R4, 23. L1R5, 31.

my end of year results.
english, C5.
malay, B3.
math, C6.
science, C6.
combined humanities, F9.
P.O.A, A2.
F&N, C5.
L1R4, 22. L1R5, 31.

crappy much right my results. so that tells me that ive to work two times harder and third times of effort has to be put in so i can get into the course i want. maybe i should ask my mum to write an excuse letter to my cca teacher so i can be excused from going to cca so that i could concentrate well on my studies. cause i seriously need to do well. plus, i hope that by changing tuition centre, my grades can get better. i really need it. like seriously. i improved abit, just a grade better. but the marks is about the same so ive to start managing my time well. starting from this holiday. ive to start studying well. set a goal for myself. i cannot be lazy. alot of people have advice me to start studying right now. but let me get at least a week off. i shall start studying next next week then, starting from the 16th. after tomorrow, i shall chill for one week then start studying and doing my homework plus notes plus revision. i definitely dont want to do last minutes notes again. that is definitely not going to work that much. after every chapter of each subject, ive to do notes. i must. i must.
but can i really do that? im having doubts. im not sure if i can cause lately things have been so .. i shall not say what. i told certain people why/what has been going on lately and they do know that im sortof 'fragile' now. ugh. hate this feeling, hate the situation.

and, to my two new friends.
i love the two of you to the max. korang gerek gle, aku sayang korang laa. you help me stand when i fall, make me strong when im weak, say a million goodbye but never leave. even though ive just met the two of you, it seems like its been ages. i hope our friendship will never die. i want us to be good/close friends till the end of time.

and to hazim.
thanks for caring, thanks for being there, thanks for trying to cheer me up, thanks for being there to make sure i was alright. thanks for making me feel treasured. thanks for those stupid jokes that make me laugh like a crazy person. thanks for being great bestie, hope our friendship wont die after you leave damai. aku sayang kaw!

and to you(you know who you are).
i just dont get you anymore. should i be mad or upset cause im not sure where i stand, or where i should go. im confused. you tell me things everytime an incident happen. why cant you just be straightforward and frank? why must you wait till im at my down then you can tell me off? why? and this is the second time. the bloody second time you told me off that way. the oth time i had to put up with this. or is it time i get to know more about you? but are you willing to open up to me? are you willing to tell me things? but firstly, do you even trust me. cause if you dont then i guess i wont ever get to know you better/learn more about you. and face it, the truth sometimes hurts. and you think by hiding the truth from me it would help? you think i wont find out? if there's one thing that you should know about me, its definitely me hate finding things out for myself or having to prompt the person to tell me. like just now, just because i wasnt doing great, you had to keep it from me? let me just mia. from almost everyone. ohkay bye.
p.s. sorry for wanting to mia.